Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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