u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
