feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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