Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
