sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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