How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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