I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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