We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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