just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
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It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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