last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So here I am, sexting at work.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize