rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
honey bunches of taint.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I know her cup size but not her name....
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