sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
