Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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