Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize