So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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