thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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