ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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