i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
