I'm really into asian looking animals
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
