Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
As shirtless as possible
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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