Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
