naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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