O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Even my vagina gasped.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
