I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
