She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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