Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
