I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
