so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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