I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
