so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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