I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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