I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
