hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
