I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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