You don't have asthma, your pregnant
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
