You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
