i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
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When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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