I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize