i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
