i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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