But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
