You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
