pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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