Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
