i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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