Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Alive.
So much puke
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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