I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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