Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
