i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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