Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize