can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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