u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize