She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
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She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
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direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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