I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
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