I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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