His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
